Tagged as: Humor
In the French province of Lorraine, it was once customary to propose marriage during pig-slaughtering season. A young woman who wished to accept sent back a PIG’S FOOT DECORATED IN LAUREL; rejection came in the form of a pig’s tail accompanied by a pickle.
Tagged as: Humor
This is great! Check out more from friends at Italy from the Inside.
Tagged as: Humor
Once again I am putting myself out on the market. Get it while it’s good ladies or at least while it’s alive! Hi there all you hotties. My name is Jason and I am 38 years old. I am lonely and I am fat as hell. I know that I am fat and I am trying my damnedest to lose the weight. It’s really hard when you got no reason. Let me explain. Other than my health I got nothing. I want to lose weight in hopes of getting some freaking poon. Why does a fat guy want to lose weight? Simple, it is all about getting the poon. Most super fat guys never get laid so in all honesty this is why this fat guy wants to lose weight. Not gettin’ any will make a man do crazy things. I’m tired of everyone around me having a girlfriend, kids or a life. I’m 38 and never had a girlfriend. I’ve never really tried, though, so I guess I’m to blame for that. I am a good, funny and honest guy. I have a lot to offer. Like, I have my own rooom. Life is sweet. I am 38 and I have my own room! I shower daily, I am employed and I am user friendly. I cry myself to sleep a lot for no reason. I am clean and I have been told I smell good. I am not sure, but I think people like me. I am not sure, though. Oh, and by the way I am going bald. Fat and bald could be the best of both worlds. The main thing I have to offer is this: I don’t care what you look like or what you have been through. I will always do my best to make you feel like the queen you are. I will do my best to make you smile and laugh. I will always be there for you. Think of it this way, someone who has never had a chance to offer anything has everything to offer. Hope to hear from you.
Tagged as: Humor
When I asked a friend of mine from Naples why men were such skirt chasers he put it this way: “It is like mice who love cheese.” Actually, he said it more like this: “It is lika the mice whoa loves the cheese. We lovea the cheese.” Wow, I had never heard it quite put that way.
Tagged as: Humor
Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
~Bob Rubin
Tagged as: Humor
This guy pushed his motorcycle from the patio into his living room, where he began to clean the engine with some rags and a bowl of gasoline. When he finished, he sat on the motorcycle and decided to start it to make sure everything was still OK. Unfortunately, the bike started in gear and crashed through the glass patio door with him still clinging to the handlebars.
His wife had been working in the kitchen and came running at the noise. She found him crumpled on the patio, badly cut from the shards of broken glass. She called 911. The paramedics transported the guy to the emergency room.
Later that afternoon, after many stitches had puller her husband back together, the wife brought him home and put him to bed. She cleaned up the mess in the living room and dumped the bowl of gasoline in the toilet.
A bit later her husband woke up, lit a cigarette and went into the bathroom. He sat down and tossed the cigarette into the toilet which promptly exploded because the wife had not flushed the gasoline away. The explosion blew the man through the bathroom door.
The wife heard the explosion and her husband’s screams. She ran into the hall and found him lying on the floor with his pants blown away and burns on his buttocks. The wife again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.
The same two paramedics were dispatched to the scene. They loaded the husband on the stretcher and began carrying him to the street. One of them asked the wife how the injury had occurred. When she told them, they began laughing so hard that they dropped the stretcher and broke the guy’s collarbone.
Ouch!
Tagged as: Uncategorized
CNN.com
Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women
Thursday, October 2, 2003
(AP) — Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found. Continue Reading»
Tagged as: Humor
My name is Brian. I just turned 40 last June. Despite my humpback and mild
limp I am reasonably good looking! Do not be afraid of my glass eye…it
may fall out from time to time when I try to wink at you! However, it makes
a GREAT cat toy. I have 18 cats, five small dogs, a turtle and a gold fish!
My favorite animal of all time is a Lamprey aka: sucker fish. I shower
rarely and shave my legs frequently. I do have a dental plan. I have
managed to save $217.57 over the duration of four months…I know it’s not much
but I don’t need a lot. I have recently changed my underwear from Hanes
“tighty whities” to brown underwear because sometimes I shart myself! I have
auditioned for American Idol every season, and still have never been to
Hollywood. However, there’s always next year!
I promise you I am a unique individual.
Only serious inquiries please. If I get to meet you, I’ll show you how I
can smoke through my nose!
P.S. Sends pics
Tagged as: Uncategorized
What is wrong with men? I mean really. There are so many men out there who are so rigid (no pun intended). I am now talking about your very white type of guys… German, Norwegian, English, Irish, Swedish, Scottish, etc… These types know how to get a woman, but are clueless after that. It is like a hunter who can set a good trap, but after uncovering the trap they don’t know if they should eat it or keep it for a pet. In most cases these guys decide to keep the pet and not eat it.
Tagged as: Humor
“Lord, I have a problem.”
“What’s the problem, Eve?”
“I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all
of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but
I’m just not happy.”
“And why is that Eve?”
“Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.”
“Well, Eve, in that case I have a solution. I shall create
create a man for you.”
“Man? What is that Lord?”
“A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He’ll lie, cheat
and be vain; all in all, he’ll give you a hard time,
but he’ll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things.
I’ll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.
He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and
kicking a ball about. He won’t be as smart as you, so he will also
need your advice to think properly.”
“Sounds great,” says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows,
“but what’s the catch Lord?”
“Well, you can have him on one condition.”
“And what’s that Lord?”
“As I said, he’ll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring so
you’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.
And it will have to be our little secret… you know, woman to woman.”